Dear Ian Snell,
I was really looking forward to seeing you pitch in Seattle on Tuesday, especially since I didn't get down to PNC Park when I was in Pittsburgh this weekend. You're one of my current favorite Pirates, partially because I drafted you on my fantasy team on a hunch and you've worked out rather well, and partially because you're a complete dork.
But now I find out that you're not going to be pitching because you have a blister on your finger because you had a grilling accident. And apparently the grilled chicken caesar salad you were making wasn't even that good.
I hereby ban you from grilling for the rest of the summer. If you really insist on trying to make another grilled chicken salad, get Zach Duke to do it instead. He could use the rest.
Deanna the Marinerd