Monday, March 20, 2006

Song Parody: I Hope I Get It

I was listening to some musical soundtracks today, as I do from time to time, and as I was listening to A Chorus Line, I realized that you could easily take the tone of that show, a bunch of people auditioning for a musical... and it'd be awfully similar to the tone of a lot of those guys out there in Spring Training hoping for a roster spot, and well, I just started singing new lyrics to it, and one thing led to another...

God, I Hope I Get It
(to the tune of the opening song from A Chorus Line)

HARGROVE:
Step swing hit catch throw tag... Again!
Step swing hit catch throw tag... Again!
Step swing hit catch throw tag... Again!
Step swing hit catch throw tag... Right!
That connects with
Seam grip pause push toss step,
Step swing hit catch throw tag.
Got it? -- Going on, and
Toss catch step step plant toss,
Pivot, step, walk, walk, walk.
Right! Let's do the whole combination, take your positions in the infield.
From the top, a five-six-seven-eight!

[Players do infield tosses and drills as the coaches observe.]

PITCHERS:
God, I hope I get it
I hope I get it
How many pitchers does he need?
(overlapping) FIELDERS: How many fielders does he need?
God, I hope I get it,
I hope I get it.
Which guys will start, who's in the pen?
Which guys will start, how many...?

PLAYERS:
Look at all the people!
At all the people.
How many players does he need?
How many pitch, how many bench,
How many fielders does he...?

JEFF HARRIS:
I really need this job.
Please God, I need this job.
I've got to get this job.

HARGROVE:
Okay, let's go back to the outfield and do some running. Half of you
line up here, half of you over there. Go!

[Coaches stand there timing the players as they dash across the field.]

PLAYERS:
God, I really blew it!
I really blew it!
How could I move as slow as that?
Now they're gonna cut me!
They're gonna cut me!
He doesn't like the way I throw.
He doesn't like the way I hit.
He doesn't like the way I...

HARGROVE:
All right, let's see how you guys swing those bats. Just take it easy
and hit the ball.

[Players take batting practice as the coaching staff take notes.]

PLAYERS:
God, I think I've got it.
I think I've got it.
I knew they'd sign me all the time.
Still not on the roster. ROBERTO PETAGINE: Who'll be cut next?
Not on the roster.
I can't imagine what he wants. DAVE BURBA: Am I screwed now?
God, I hope I get it!
I hope I get it.
I've come this far, the goal's so near
Escape Tacoma for the year,
How many players does he...?

I really need this job. MATT THORNTON: All of my options are gone.
Please, God, I need this job. GREG DOBBS: They can't resist my swing.
I want to reach the Show.

KEVIN APPIER:
Who am I anyway?
Can I still really play?
That is the question with an answer I don't know.

I'll show them I'm not through.
What should I try to do?
Those youthful faces all around, and here we go.
I need this job, oh god, I miss the Show.

Anyway, whee! WBC Japan vs. Cuba tonight. 6pm Pacific, 9pm Eastern, 11am Japan time, and it's 春分の日, so you should be home from work to watch the game!

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