Friday, August 05, 2005

Song Parody - King Felix

Let's sing a song in honour of our very own favorite pitching prospect starting in Detroit yesterday.

This is to the tune of "Prince Ali" from Aladdin, and hopefully will be another installment in Mariners! The Musical.
(New lyrics by me, Deanna Rubin. Please don't re-post without including credit, thanks.)

King Felix!

Hey! Clear the way in the baseball park
Hey you! Let us through!
It's a bright new star!
Oh, come, see the first at the plate that he'll destroy

Make way, here he comes!
Ring bells! Bang the drums!
Are you gonna love this boy!

It's the king! Everyone sing!
Felix Hernandez.
Write a K in for the play
We'll see the King taking aim
At home in next Tuesday's game
So come and watch this spectacular battery!

It's the king! Everyone sing!
Felix Hernandez.
He'll get ten bat-swinging men
Down on strike three.
He faced the PCL trench
A hundred strikeouts commenced
Who sent those guys to their bench?
Why, it's the king.

He was 9 and 4 down in Tacoma
   (Ain't he amazing, Rick?)
Home runs on him? Gave up only three
   (Fabulous, Fairly, I love his curveballs.)
He sure earned his minor league diploma
How's he gonna do?
I'm telling you,
he's a twenty-win guarantee!

It's the king, everyone sing,
   (There's no question he's a pitching genius)
Felix Hernandez.
   (And they say that he's only nineteen, yes?)
That physique! How can I speak? Reverently.
   (Everything about the guy just plain impresses)
Well, get on out to the Safe
   (He's a phenom, he's so great, a wonder)
And sit there in disbelief
   (He will tear opposing bats asunder)
We'll hail our new pitching chief, our Felix king.
   (And I absolutely love the way he dresses!)

He walked ninety-six guys in the minors
   (Well, in the minors, they must be whiners)
But in strikeouts, got three-sixty-three
   (They're numerous, so numerous!)
And his curveball's got movement like shiners
   (Bounces down for him)
It hops to the plate, they swing too late
They're just jumpy with jealousy for the King! He's the King!

He's the king! Everyone sing!
Felix Hernandez!
Heard that Safeco was a sight awful to see
And that, Seattle, is why
He suited up and dropped by
With tricks abundant, and power galore
With his curves and sliders,
A fastball and more
So this pitching gala from Venezuela
A revolution he'll bring
Make way, for he's our King!

EDIT> Okay, it's a little more complete now :)

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