Dear Jon Lieber,
I'm sorry, man. It sucks when you pitch so well and end up losing.
The thing is, you're not even the only pitcher out there who only gave up two runs today and still lost the game. It was just that kind of day, you know? Like the kind when you get this really awesome large soft-serve ice cream cone, except it's really hot outside, so one minute the ice cream looks perfect, and the next, it all starts melting away. So by the time you're done eating it, half the ice cream is in your stomach, and the other half is all over your face and clothes. And then later on in the day, someone comes up to you and says, "Dude, that ice cream is like, melted all over your shirt. Why don't you give me the cone and go back to the dugout?" And you know it was a good ice cream cone, but you know it would have been so much better if, like, you hadn't worn that white shirt today. Or if it wasn't so freaking hot out in Arizona. Or if the cone didn't totally collapse on you when you got to the bottom of the seventh. Or if your teammates had given you some goddamn run support.
But it's okay. You have some highly esteemed company in the land of soft-serve soup.
Kevin Millwood would like to buy you a slurpee.
Greg Maddux would like you to help him derail the D-Train.
Tom Glavine, three weeks Maddux's senior, agrees. "I totally would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for those kiddling Mets!"
So chin up, Jon. The Phillies are still half a game up in the Wild Card race, and you're not the only one smashing an ice cream cone against the wall screaming, "WHY, GOD? WHY?"
P.S. - But if you don't win one when I'm back east at the Phillies games next weekend, you'll be sorry. I'll get you, and your Lieberthal too!
P.P.S. - Air Jimmy shipping is really cool. I love their speedy delivery to first. They're like, totally superior to our local Air Willie franchise. Much more accurate, too.