Funniest: Brian Anderson, White Sox
MLB.com: [What would you get for] A.J. Pierzynski?
Anderson: I would get him an attitude adjustment when he gets carried away.
MLB.com: Tadahito Iguchi?
Anderson: I would buy him another Japanese player on our team, so he would have someone to hang out with and talk to.
MLB.com: How about Joe Crede?
Anderson: Well, Crede has a whole bunch of money and land. I will buy Crede some new shoes. He has these shoes that make me mad. He's probably an inch taller than me as it is, and he has these shoes that make him humongous, like 6-foot-5, and he just dwarfs me. So, I'm going to buy him some new dress shoes, a little lower pair of shoes than the ones he has.
Second Funniest: Cory Lidle, Phillies
MLB.com: Do you have a favorite Christmas tradition?
Lidle: Just Christmas dinner, with lots of eating. There's plenty of food and not much left over. That counts as a tradition, doesn't it?
MLB.com: Sure. So what's on the family menu? Do you cook, carve or just stuff?
Lidle: I just stuff my face. We cooked the last couple of years. Last year, we had turkey and tamales because half my family is Mexican.
Third Funniest: Craig Wilson, Pirates
MLB.com: We are giving you the power to be Santa for a day. Now tell us, which of your teammates were naughty last year and which were nice?
Wilson: Oliver Perez was the naughty one because that laundry cart did absolutely nothing to him and he just went out and took it out on an innocent cart. Who was nice? That's a tough one. I'll have to say Jack [Wilson] was nice. He drafted an awful fantasy football team and that's what let us other guys win.
Billy Beane, Oakland
Adam LaRoche, Braves
Tom Glavine, Mets
Geoff Blum, Padres
Other Interesting Ones
Felipe Alou, Giants
Michael Cuddyer, Twins
Juan Pierre, Cubs
This one is sad: Elrod Hendricks, Orioles -- who just passed away a few days ago.
The rest of it's not worth reading, but, Randy Johnson:
MLB.com: Who's more popular, Derek Jeter or Santa Claus?
Johnson: Santa Claus.